Thursday, February 24, 2011

Maybe we’ve got this whole thing wrong…

I mean, maybe I should be the one spending my day at dental school, or somewhere out in the “real” world because when I’ve been out, and Philip’s been home with the kids all by himself, this is what I find upon my return:


Everybody’s having a grand old time. There is no sign of distress, no overwhelmed parent here!

Despite the fact that I try to tell myself to do this during the day:


{I have it hanging in my downstairs bathroom.}

This more accurately describes what I feel like doing:


{just picked this up at HomeGoods this morning. Despite the fact that it made me laugh (and totally speaks to me too!), I actually bought it for the pillow insert (100% feathers for 15 bucks), not the cover.}

In all seriousness, the past couple days have been pretty taxing. I spent a few days at my parent’s house while they were away, which meant I was a single parent all day long (how in the world do people who are single parents all the time do it??!!). Combine that with the fact that I seriously injured my neck/upper back TEN DAYS AGO (but it still hurts!), and yet I’m still required to spend a lot of time carrying a little person around (scratch that, make that two little people around), and you don’t really have the most chipper mama.

I’ve found myself just grasping for time to myself, time to do what I want to do, and I really can’t find much. It is days like these that I desperately need Jesus to give me the strength and the desire to actually engage with my kids, when I really just want to manage them so I can get to what I really want to do (read blogs, decorate my house, take a shower.) Philip and I were just talking the other day about how we feel like we often live as if we’re constantly striving to arrive at that “sweet spot” in life. Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s forever elusive! For me, it usually has to do with what my house looks like. I’m always wanting to change things up, re-decorate here, buy something new for this room (all very deep, spiritual things obviously!), thinking that if I can just finally arrive (how I’ll know I’ve arrived, I’m not quite sure), then I can rest. On some level, I think I believe that if I can create beauty all around me, then I can more easily handle the chaos that can feel like it's closing in on me! Ha! Then I can stop and enjoy my kids. Oh, how I don’t want it to be this way. These are sweet days, and I want to savor them. I want to know true contentment, but I am so not good at it!!

I would love to hear if you’ve struggled with this and how you’ve learned to practice contentment.

Post Edit: I randomly came across this article today, and it totally speaks to my experience! It's good to know that at least I'm not alone.


  1. I totally understand. I often think Jay should be the stay at home parent.

  2. Anne I totally have been feeling all the things you have. Let's talk to/pray for each other. (Oh, and WEPC has some great talks about Contentment by Janice Bricker. They're really really good.)

  3. Anne, I so resonate with some of your thoughts/struggles (and in your last post, too). I'm such a rookie at this--but I'm learning how crucial confessing my own sense of entitlement to my time, my exercise, my blogging, my, my, my etc is! YET, how gentle God is with me as I learn to mother with and by grace! And to purely enjoy those breaks or "my-time" when it comes without guilt. I'm also trying to remember, as older moms point out, the joys and struggles of each season and that I WILL have more discretionary time at some point down the road (and I only have one kid now, sheesh, who knows how I'll handle more if God so blesses!) but still not live for that. Anyway, praying for you and as always appreciate your honesty and heart! Hope your back is feeling better, too. I'll finish my novel here, haha.


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