Happy Birthday Wade!

Dear Wade,

It is truly hard for me to believe that you are one year old today (technically, no longer an infant!)  It’s crazy to think of all that was happening this time last year, as you made your grand debut!  I often tell your daddy that I feel like you were just born. 

Your daddy and I want you to know that we are so thankful God gave you to us.   Who but the God of the universe could create  the amazingly complex and wondrous little being  that you are and place you in our family?  I am humbled when I think upon God’s goodness to us through you.  

We are proud of the little boy you are becoming, for it has not been the easiest year for you.  You’re really still so new in this world, and things haven’t been too easy for you.  We just recently learned that you suffer from a condition known as Eosinophilic Esophagitis, which basically means that you’re experiencing an allergic reaction in your gut.  We think this is a lot of the reason why you are so resistant to eating solid food.  Your daddy and I are working hard to figure out how to help you feel better.   Thankfully, you do still love to nurse, and I am trying to remind myself to savor this time we have together, because I know it is fleeting. 

These days you are quite the little social butterfly—you break out into the biggest, most wonderful smile whenever we’re out and about.  You’ll even smile at strangers, regardless of whether they’re even looking at you.  You enjoy playing with other children (especially older kids!), and you’re usually pretty happy to play independently.  You babble a lot (a month or so ago you were into repeating the phrase “uh-oh”), you are definitely a big time daddy’s boy (you frequently call for “da-da”), and you adore looking at all your books.   You’re not walking on your own just yet, but you do like to push one of your toys and walk behind it.  You really like fun music these days, and you can be found bopping to the beat, which is so cute.  A funny little thing you enjoy is bumping heads with people.  Yes, you are my child, and this kind of quirky behavior is not entirely surprising. 

As much as this year has been full of joy, I would be deceiving you if I didn’t also acknowledge how hard it has been.  I started your life as a mother who was sure that if I just found the right set of rules to follow (and to make you follow!), I could shape you into the perfect little child for me.  I searched out all the books, holding out hope that there was some method out there that would help me make sense of this new life for whom I was now responsible.   I knew I wouldn’t be perfect, but I was also determined not to make any “major” mistakes from the beginning because I was sure that if I followed all the rules, I could avoid many of the challenges I’d judged others for facing.  God forbid you learn to rely on me to fall asleep!  Of course you will only eat breast milk!  (And I could go on and on…)  It has not been an easy process, and  we are honestly still in the thick of it, but you are teaching me that you are a unique individual, and I can’t put you in a little box and tie a bow on top!  I’m still trying to figure out all that God is out to teach me through you, but I think it has something to do with humility, empathy, and reliance on Jesus.  I want to be a great mother, who has figured out all the answers, and I want to be thought of as a great mother.  I know that this isn’t the way of Jesus, and I hope that through my failures as a mother, you might grow to lean on the One who can meet all your needs and love you better than I could on my “best” mothering days.    I need you to forgive me for being so hard on you, for placing too  many expectations on your little shoulders, and for being impatient and angry with you when you didn’t comply. 

Happy Birthday, Wade.  Your daddy and I love you and treasure you.  Thanks for being our little boy.

Love,

Mama

P. S. Here are some pictures of you throughout your first year of life—one for every month!

Brand new!  One day old…

 One Month

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months

Five Months

Six Months

Seven Months

Eight Months

Nine Months {shame on me for never posting pics from your first Halloween!  We had so much fun at Trick-or-Treating on the Lawn in Charlottesville!}

Ten Months

Eleven Months

Twelve Months—You are such a big boy now!!!